Stop Yer Bitchin'

I'm sick of it. How in the world can golfers whine about playing conditions when they're in a major? You're playing in a major championship! The Open no less. Did they really expect there to be calm winds and balmy temperatures? It's Great Britain! Everybody knows how crappy the weather can be there.

So I guess the man above whined about the weather while he was winning 5 Open Championships. Tom Watson is just one of the greatest golfers of all-time. So when a nobody like Pat Perez, ZERO tour victories, starts whining about the weather, I get a little irritated.

Who the hell cares what Pat Perez thinks? You'd figure that nobody does, but you'd be wrong. Apparently Gene Wojciechowski cares what Pat has to say. I think Gene just cares about a storyline that is going to cause "controversy." Just like any other member of the drive-by media, he's looking for controversy.

After Pat Perez fired off an 82, he figured that was the perfect fuel for his fire. Unfortunately everybody had to play the same course. So while Pat was in the midst of his wonderful 82, Rocco was in the midst of a masterful 69. So apparently some people have a pair and can brave the elements.

That's the problem with golfers like Pat Perez, they're always looking for an excuse. So his 82 had nothing to do with his horrendous execution. Instead, the weather has to bear all the blame.

This is a direct quote from Wojohojo's article on ESPN.com:

"I don't think it's golf at all, to be honest with you. I don't see it as golf. It's blowing 40 [mph]. My hands are so cold and everything is soaked. You can't hold on to the club. I don't see that as golf. They do here, but I don't."

That is Pat Perez's take on the conditions. What a genius! What exactly is it if it's not golf? I'm sorry, does the wind not blow that hard at Pebble? Or any coastal golf course for that matter. So the weather was in the high 50's, ok, dress for it. They did invent these things called "hand warmers."

You won't hear any of these gripes from the European players. Hell, they've got to be loving it because they know some of these limp-wristed players are destined to fold. Those are players that they don't have to think about.

It's like the recurring quote my dad about Jack Nicklaus. I'm going to have to paraphrase because I don't remember it word for word. But Jack said that whenever he heard a player complaining, he knew that was one less person to worry about.

So all the players atop the leader board should be grinning ear to ear. Do you think that Greg Norman is going to be whining? After all that man has been through, this is nothing. You could lob grenades at him all round and it probably wouldn't phase him.

Back to Wojohojo's article. Let's look at another nugget of genius from Pat's mouth. "It makes you look stupid out there," he said. "An 82? I don't shoot 82." Really? I thought he shot an 82 today. That must have been his familiar.

Here's Wojo's endorsement of Pat Perez's credentials: "Perez, who lives in Scottsdale, Ariz., shot 82. It's not as if he's a stiff; he's ranked 54th in the world and already has made more than $1 million this year on the PGA Tour."

Wow! He's 54th in the world. Ok, who the hell ranks these players? Perez shouldn't even be in the top 200. I know there are golfers behind him that have won tournaments. Not only that, there are golfers behind him that have won majors! How is he 54th? The whole ranking system is a sham.

Anyhow, let's hope the weather keeps on keepin' on. I'm ready to watch some more whiners go by the wayside. They don't belong on tour. Send their asses home Birkdale!

p.s. You guys get to play on the best courses in the world! How is that a negative? Would you like to trade places with me and play my course for the rest of your life?

The Angry Golfer, i.e., the Infatuated Golfer

Let me start this by saying, as I have in the past, I have the utmost respect for Tiger. But, here we are again with another writer lamenting about Tiger's performance in this year's U.S. Open Championship.

HERE is the article. The article seems to be about the comments made by Vijay and Retief, but is that what he is really "angry" about? Vijay said that British golfers don't win majors because they are complacent, which may be closer to the truth than the author would be willing to admit. What other adjective would you use to describe their performance in majors over the last 20 some odd years? The only other description I can think of to describe their play in majors is that they just haven't been able to do it. I don't personally know any of the British golfers to draw any conclusions, but I'd bet Vijay does...doesn't he have a residence in London?

Retief just said what we all were thinking when we saw Tiger grimace in pain on the bad shots. Anyone that knows anything about golf and its players certainly knows that Retief is not an outspoken person and wouldn't be the type of person to make outlandish comments. I believe that he just verbalized his exception to the glorification of his injuries by the media. There is no doubt he was in pain and Retief knew that. Tiger made the choice to continue and it was evidentally the right thing to do if his goal was to win the tournament. It's that simple.

The author's closing paragraph shed light on the true reason of the article. Golf, for him and as it is for a marjority of "fans," is over until Tiger returns. This is not good. One man does not constitute an entire sport, but all the marketing, media, and editorals will not lead you to that conclusion. This is going to be a season of lamenting. I really feel for the golfers on tour this year. Their victories will be mentally asteriked by Tiger's absence. It's a sad state of affairs when passion for a game is a derivative of marketing and media attention.

Pete Plays Hockey?

Addendum to Separated at Birth? Part 4

Ok, so Sam Elliot looks like Von Kaiser, but I may have found the topper. Check it out.

Remember when...

Martina Navratilova ruled the court and the folk world at the same time?

Separated at Birth? Part 4

It's a little known fact that Sam Elliot had an acting hiatus in the mid eighties and tried his luck on the Punch Out circuit.

Separated at Birth? Part 3

Punch-Out may be the greatest "lookalike" game ever made!

So when he's not busy playing Billy in Predator, Sonny Landham is Super Macho Man.

Is it a coincidence that Super Macho Man was the most awesome boxer in Punch-Out? I think not. Sonny Landham just exudes "awesomeness" from every pore in his Cherokee body. Not really.

Separated at Birth? Part 2

I realized that a certain "comedic actor" looked like a certain "boxer" when I was playing Punch-Out today.

So if you ever get in a fight with Sandler, just alternate left and right jabs.

This sign hangs on Shanahan's office door

"Although Travis has the ability to be one of the top running backs in the NFL, we have to make decisions that are in the best interests of our organization and its goal of winning a Super Bowl," Broncos coach Mike Shanahan said in a statement. "We did not feel his commitment to the Broncos was enough to warrant a spot on this football team."

Those were the words uttered by the genius helming the Broncos' ship. Travis Henry had leg injuries at the end of the season and some off-field problems. Perhaps he was a bad influence in the locker room, but this feels like Tan-man is pawning off the blame again.

Clearly it was the poor work ethic of Travis Henry that brought the Broncos down last season. It wasn't the decision to kick to Devin Hester twice in one game. Both of those going back for touchdowns. It wasn't the decision to fire yet another coordinator. Obviously it wasn't the decision to never throw the ball more than 12 yards down field. It wasn't the lack of interceptions for touchdown. Nor was it the total neglecting of the receiving core.

Nope. None of those things made last season a losing season. It was all Travis Henry. I don't know how he can sleep at night knowing he made the Broncos go 7-9. If it weren't for him, they'd have gone to the Super Bowl.

Seriously, is Shanahan the Obama of football? He can do whatever the hell he wants and he doesn't have to pay a price. Where's the fairness in that? Some coaches, Art Shell, get one year to do some good and they're fired.

I was unaware that it was the goal of the Broncos to win Super Bowls. I thought there goal was to, start strong, tail off, barely make the playoffs, and lose in the first round. I thought that was their stated objective.

What did I say earlier, 6-10? I'm sticking with it. Though I might change it to 5-11. We'll see.

Bottom line: Shanahan, you're the problem bitch. Fire yourself!

Doling out some common sense.

HERE is a link to the Fox News story and actual email that Bob Dole sent to the deplorable Scott McClellan. How many times are we going to see this in our time and times to come? Bob hits the nail right on the head when he calls Scott a "miserable creature." Bob also shows his incredible sense of humor when he advises Scott to donate all proceeds to "The Bite The Hand That Fed Me." Good one Bob.

It's about time someone threw these sycophants some chin music. I can't wait to see the heater that actually sends them to first base. Keep the reprisals coming Bob, the Republican party needs a blood transfusion and a marrow implant from a man like you.

My Bear

It's the week of the Memorial Tournament, so needless to say my mind is on the great one, Jack Nicklaus. He is my favorite athlete of all time, second is Peter Forsberg, but that's for another post.

THIS is one of the better articles you will read on the greatest golfer that ever lived. The single greatest thing I have ever seen in sports was the 1977 Open Championship at Turnberry. Jack finished second to Tom Watson, but it was the greatest display of relentless determination I have ever seen. You won't find this anywhere on today's tour.

HERE is a link to the 18th hole of the event. Jack was one back of Watson going into 18. Jack pulled his driver, but pushed it to the right in the deep gorse grass. Watson laced his drive right down the middle. Watson hit a seven iron for his second shot and put it about 2 feet from the hole. The commentators thought there was no way for Jack to get the ball to the green, but he somehow managed to get it on the green about 40-50 feet from the hole. Jack made his putt, which forced Watson to make his 2 footer. Watson made the putt and won the Open. That was a short putt, but I'll bet if you asked Watson if he felt any pressure he'd say "My God did I ever!"

Of course, Jack was his simple, humble self at the award ceremony saying, "I gave it my best shot, but it just wasn't good enough. You were a better golfer today." It just doesn't get any better than that. There will never be another golfer like Jack.

I never thought I'd say it

But Bob Costas may not be that bad. I just watched a lovely video on You Tube in which he says what I've been saying about Barry Bonds. I've been saying that you don't get better with age! I never heard anybody else say that, but Costas did. I'm not sure what year this video is from, but it rocks. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbHQue2q7p8

I can't think of an athlete that's more despicable than Barry Bonds. Everybody knows he is guilty, but he just won't say it. I guess he's afraid the truth might tarnish his record. Somebody needs to tell him that it can't possibly be tarnished any more than it is. In a way it's better that he hasn't admitted the truth. That just makes him look even guiltier.

There's no way that piece of crap is going to be inducted into the Hall of Fame. That goes for all the other juicers too. None of these cheaters should ever grace the halls of...the Hall.

The Only Ball to Play

Let's face it, there is only one golf ball for above average golfers, the Pro V1 by Titleist. This varietal is indeed special. You will not find a ball that can match its performance off the tee nor its feel on the green. This ball takes me back to the days of the sweet, sweet balata. That's Billy Balata to you.

In my book, there will never be a match for Billy in the short game. It was like putting a pad of butter and the results were just as tastey. The only drawback to Billy was his off the tee performance. If you had a swing flaw, he'd plug in the neon idiot sign and point its flashing pink arrow right at your cranium. Billy's soft composition also prohibited him from flying as far as the other balls of his time. Nonetheless, I have some truly remarkable memories with Billy and they will forever be etched in the "Things that are pure" category of my mind.

Back to the present. I like the Pro V1x, as I'm not all that crazy about spin. I like the ball to hit and bite not turn into a ditch witch and trench itself back to me. I'm not knocking the Pro V1, it's a great ball. I've just grown accustomed to the feel of the Pro V1x.

As far as other balls are concerned, if you are serious about your game and scoring, don't waste your time. Although, I have been known to play the Taylor Made TP Red. They're only $20 a dozen and are decent off the tee and have pretty good feel on the greens. Twenty bucks for a decent ball, you can't argue with that.

Callaway, Nike, Bridgestone, they're all pretty good golf balls, but they just don't match up to the Titleist brand and quality. So if you're having a difficult time deciding which ball to play, play the Pro V1 and save yourself some time and money.

The Single

Now I usually don't mind the occasional single joining our group, but when time is of the essence (18 holes in 3.5 hours or less) you normally don't want anyone joining you. There are various maneuvers that can be taken to thwart the on comer, but my dad executed one I had never seen.

When he checked in, the starter told him that they needed to put a single with our group. "He's a guy from out of town," the starter said. He was not, but that's besides the point. Dad said, "no problem as long as he rides in a cart." He was a walker and remained a walker, just with another group.

I know most people are probably thinking, these guys are a bunch of jerks, but let me explain. This guy was not from out of town, I don't know why the starter felt compelled to lie about that. In fact, I see the guy at the course pretty frequently and would bet that he is a member.

Either way, having seen his play in previous rounds, he was better off playing with a different group. Not that my brother, father, or myself are great golfers by any stretch of the imagination, we can get around the course pretty well. At our best, the sum of our handicaps is less than twenty. If I were a novice single that joined a group of competent golfers, I'd feel a bit pressured and pressure for the unseasoned golfer equals disaster.

Was it rude of us to not allow this gentlemen to join our group or would it have been more rude to allow him to join our group and play 18 holes with three disenfranchised golfers? Jesus, I just turned into Carrie Bradshaw.

Deux Duex Duex

This post could have been titled Class Act II, but I don't get to use French very often. HERE is reason number two to love Chris Berman. I had no idea he was a pharmaceutical rep. on the side. You stay classy Bristol!

Class Act

Take a look at THIS and tell me you still love Chris Berman. I've never really liked Berman. His act wore thin 15 years ago. What value does he bring to the telecast? I do appreciate the presence of true commentators in the booth and on pre-game and post-game shows. They bring a level of professionalism and knowledge to the program that retired coaches and players simply can not. Berman, however, does not fall into this category.

The only time it works for Berman is when he and Tom Jackson provide one on one analysis. They do seem to have a pretty good chemistry about them. Other than that, Steve Zaban's label of "mouth breathing slob," is right on the money.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

We waited 19 years for this movie, was it worth the wait?

Nope.

It was better than Temple of Doom. Do I really need to expand on that?

There wasn't any real action until 15 minutes in. The violence was very subdued compared to the three previous films. I never really got the sense that they knew what they wanted to do with that movie. I can just see them writing the script:

"Let's try this!"
"Ok, let's go there. Then we could throw in this bit of childish humor, we want to appeal to kids."
"Oh yeah, kids will love that. All kids love slapstick."
"Well what about the plot?"
"Yeah, do we really need one? It's Indiana Jones, people will go to see it regardless."

And we did! There were parts of the movie that worked, but it was disconnected for the most part. I think Spielberg has gotten too artsy to do a movie like Indiana Jones. I know Minority Report was a sci-fi/action movie, but that's different. It was a much better film than any of the Indiana Jones movies. Stop, I don't want to hear it. Raiders was awesome but Minority Report is better.

Spielberg's too detached from the action/adventure genre. It just felt forced. Each one of his jokes felt forced and stupid. There weren't any truly funny moments like when he shoots the swordsman in the market in Raiders. None of that.

Cate Blanchett was just weird as the villain. Her accent went in and out throughout the film. You never really got the sense that she was going to be much of a threat. She wasn't as despicable as Belloq or Donovan in Crusade.

It felt like an A-Team movie.

Perhaps he needs to put down the bottle during the playoffs

How many times is Soda Popinski going to have to learn the same lesson? The year they won the Super Bowl they played everybody in every game. You can't let up at the end of the season. Look at this previous season; the two teams that made it to the Super Bowl played every starter in all 16 games. That's how you make it to the Super Bowl.

I hate it when teams sit their starters the last 1 or 2 games of the season. What good does that serve? All you're doing is getting your players out of the habit of playing. You need to go into the playoffs firing on all cylinders. That way when you run up against a group of punks, like the Chargers, you won't fall flat.

Hopefully we've learned this lesson for the last time.

A sign of things to come?

Here we have a picture of John McCain before taking office. And a picture of John McCain after taking office. Things aren't looking up for the country right now. You have two psychos on the left who want to give us socialized health care, open boarders, taxes on "man made" global warming, and they're vowing to end the war in Iraq within a year!

On the right you have a man that wants to privatize health care (good!), tax us on "man made" global warming, open the boarders, but fight the war out to victory. I guess two out of four isn't bad, but the man won't attack anybody on the left. Instead he chastises people on the right for telling it like it is. Every time he gives a speech it induces sleep. How many times is he going to vow to catch Bin Laden?

Whenever he mentions "man made" global warming I want to scream my head off. How can you vote for a man who has bought into the biggest hoax ever perpetuated by humans? How intelligent can he be?

If we vote for McCain we're going to be slightly less screwed than we would be with Barry Hussein Obama or Hillary.

I'm still on the fence.

Get that guy some turducken!

I was playing Mario Kart Wii last night when I noticed something; Bowser is fairly reminiscent of John Madden. They both have broad shoulders, big eye brows, big mouths, and big appetites.

Will John Madden be able to exist without Brett Favre in Green Bay? Will NBC have the guts to have a Sunday night game in Green Bay? You know that they'll do some retrospective of Favre's career. It will have some lame music and try to be all dramatic. They're going to try to sell you on the fact that he's the "greatest" quarterback of all time.

Look, he was a great QB, but nowhere near the best. Montana, Johnny U, Elway, Marino, Manning, Moon, Fouts, Stabler, Tarkantan, Ryan Leaf, etc. are all better than Favre. None of those QBs have thrown as many moronic passes as Favre. But I guess they're just not as exciting as he is. Somehow Brett Favre is viewed as being more exciting than John Elway. Right.

The real atrocity is going to be ESPNBAs coverage of a Green Bay game. Can't wait to hear Tony Kornheiser wax poetic about Favre. I'll save my hatred for Kornheiser for another post.

Eric Roberts Set to Resume Coaching Duties in Colorado

Here's a question; why are the Avalanche making Granato the coach again? It was mediocre the first time around. Why will this be different? Not only that, did anybody notice that the team lacked fire when he coached?

Why didn't they pursue Paul Maurice? A man that has been to the finals and knows what it takes. Why not go after Bowman? I know he's done coaching, but at least throw something at him.

Wait! What about Ron Wilson? Nobody is going to make the Sharks better than he did. That team just lacks heart.

We're in for a tough one in Colorado. Buckle up and get ready for a bumpy ride, again.

If you do play golf America

Ok, so maybe it's ok for people to play golf if they truly want to play and become good at it.

So here's what you would be golfers should do. Go buy Ben Hogan's book, Ben Hogan's Five Lessons: The Modern Fundamentals of Golf, and work with that. That is the best instructional book you can buy on golf. He has a way of putting things so that you can understand them. Plus he's the best ball striker of all time. But he's a very humble guy and it shows in the book.

Like Chad said, don't hit the course until you're ready. You have to practice before you can play. This is the one sport where you cannot go out and play without practice. You will suffer.

Separated at Birth?

You tell me, is this the same person? One of these gentlemen is a hockey player, the other is a goon. Which is which?

Prediction

I'm not going out on a limb with this one, but I just want to be the first person to say "I told you so."

The Broncos are going 6-10 this season, if they're lucky.

With any luck, they'll fire Shanahan, hire Marty Schottenheimer (or Bill Cowher), go 11-5 in the 2009-2010 season, and win the Super Bowl. That part is a bit far-fetched, but I think we could have the perfect storm to fire Shanahan. We'll see.

Don't play golf America.

Don't Play Golf America

Seriously, what is up with all the people on the golf courses? You get these yahoos out there that have no chance of breaking 100 and they claim to be having fun. So one idiot's joy is another person's misery I guess. That would be the poor soul stuck behind that duffer.

Why do crappy golfers insist on playing slowly? There's no possible way they're ever going to shoot a good score. Why not keep moving? Why spend minutes at a time trying to fish golf balls out of the water with your ball shagger?

I know that my brother, my dad, and I aren't the only golfers who are annoyed by this. There has got to be an enclave of above-average golfers out there pissed at the same thing we're pissed at. I think the PGA Tour's ad campaign promoting golf should be stopped. All they're doing is making our rounds of golf longer. If golf were meant to be played by the masses, it would be. But it's not a game like soccer that you can just pick up and play.

So, save yourself the pain and the anguish people. Don't buy that first set of clubs unless you intend to become better! If you're just doing it because it's popular, stay the hell away. We don't need you slowing up our rounds.

Golf should not be an excuse to get out and drink beers. That's why they invented Nascar. Go play horseshoes and down a sixer.

Don't play golf America.